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  • Writer's pictureMichelle Marie

Attachment & Detachment

In life we tend to be drawn to things. 

That is what life is, really


Being alive...

The opportunity to be born and pursue a life that meets our wants and needs. As time goes by and life goes on and let's say we become more mature, interestingly enough, with enough awareness, we begin to start taking inventory of the things that we need or maybe that we absolutely have to let go of. 

Attachment can mean a loyalty is sparked and we are attached to a person and we call it love. That attachment may compel us to be a certain way, move in ways to please or make the other happy. 

Sometimes there is an outcome we desire from them. So we become attached to a certain way of being for them. 

Then comes the wondering and usual hurt, when their response is not requited and comparable to our move. Here is where something lies…

We then have the opportunity in this finite moment at times to see that we were attached to  outcomes. Many are the sad relationship tellings that arise in the story of the myriads of times this happens.  

Whether daily, weekly or too occasionally, Pain arises. 

Discomfort with the love or perceived lack of love, discomfort with the person, discomfort with the relationship. 

Soon we crave and we cry and hopefully catch the light of the gift that detachment would offer our unrequited wishes. Our absolutes. 

The unsatisfying match based on our initial play becomes loud. 

These are subtleties that arise in relating and can easily become compounded.

Sometimes this dance can go on for years and we don't even see it. We just may end up with considerable amounts of judgment for what now seems like an unhappy, failed relationship.

It's not just people we attach to. It could be a feeling that we have when we do a certain activity. When we attach too deeply to things like food, drugs or alcohol, we call those addictions. 

Also known as deep attachment. 

Or maybe we are attached to a place, like our city or town or maybe the walls of our home. 

I personally have noticed a deep attachment to spaces. 

A certain spot on the floor in my yoga practice

The placement of my items on a dresser 

The  way the light comes into a room a certain way at a specific or I would say “a beautiful time of day”. 

Feeling I must always have these views and shadows and walls….that I loved.   

There is something in all of these ways that is begging for you to pay attention…or maybe detach. 

When the word itself, to detach, is deconstructed the definition I found most interesting was “the state of being objective”. When I think of the word state, I am immediately drawn to considering our own state. 

Our state of being. 

So not detaching as an action but detached as a state of being. 

A vibrational frequency that is felt in the way we operate. 

It then seems different. 

There is some ownership of our responsibility to ourselves in holding a state of being that is objective. 

There is consciousness in that way. 

Awareness is being called in. 

The higher teachings in all spiritual paths ask for detachment. 

The only way we could really ever be perfect in our every move within attachment vs detachment is to never have anything or anyone to challenge our state. 

But then most certainly we would become attached to the idea that we have nothing to attach to. 

It's still a healthy life to let this be a reflective expedition at times. 

Not striving for some strict rule of how to be perfect in this journey of attach vs detach and maybe the monotony of it all. 

Sometimes the lines are blurry until clarity comes. 

Sometimes we might ride for a while in relationships or spaces or feelings that don't serve our greatest purpose… 

Our vision is where our grace lies. See yourself, be held in that grace. 

I offer this with Love & Light, because it is always available...

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